The year was nineteen winkie-five. I call it winkie-five because the Germans had stolen our number "8" several years previously. Anyway, I was walking down the street wearing a piece of onions, which was the style at the time on account of all the vampire attacks going on. So, there I was walking down the street, when all of a sudden a loud crash lit the sky, like figgy-ning, which was what we called lightning back then. Well, this was no figgy-ning. Instead, it was the Polish invading! Well, we had to act quickly. So, taking out our newspapers, it was very typical to walk around with a newspaper in your back pocket at the time, we rushed the buggers. There we were, 50 thousand Polish soldiers against us Brits with newspapers. The out-come of the battle was no surprise, we had about ten casualties and the polish all had severe concussions. It was then when, in the form of a flaming polish soldier, Satan himself, I like to call him Ol' Grey and play poker with him on Fridays, well Ol' Grey talked to me, and he said "Jason! You're next!". What did I do you ask? Well, I walked up to the devil! I poked the devil on the shoulder! I said "Look over there!" and I ran away! As I ran a strange object fell from the sky, which I at first assumed to be the devil throwing fire at me. I soon, with my razor sharp wit, realised this wasn't at all hell-fire, but instead was a strange object. I approached it, and said "Bugger", because what had landed was these two things: A wheel, and the internet. And that is how the internet and the wheel were both discovered by me.